this weekend was so exciting! we went to the rennaissance festival and got a hammock to hang from the ceiling in the baby's room to take the place of a "rocker" (rocking chair). it hangs more like a seat than a long hammock that you lay in. it'll be perfect! and much less costly! we also picked up some "decor" for the room, which we have decided we are going to paint (the room, not the decor!), but we don't know what color yet. we are finding out the sex in 3 weeks! did i mention we are finding out the sex? in 3 weeks! but don't worry, no girly pinky pink colors if its a girl. we can't do that to her. so we picked up some decor, little wooden ornamental wall hangings and some little basket thingys that match the hammock but that can hold toys on the wall. so cool. we didn't expect to be shopping and bringing home baby stuff from the renn fest, but look what happens when you go somewhere and thats just all thats on your mind! you end up finding things! the next day we went to visit some friends who gave us our first baby clothes. i was SO thrilled to get my FIRST BABY CLOTHES EVER! awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

we went to the baby store this weekend. oh my goodness. so much to buy, so many things to think about. ohhhh my gosh. we looked at strollers, car seats, cribs, etc.... i dont even know what half the stuff is officially called. onesies? they are those little things they wear? and what is the name of those things you carry them around the house in that vibrates and plays music? if i were trying to find most of this stuff in the store and i had to ask a salesperson where to find it, i wouldn't even know what to ask for! rob does the research online, pretty thoroughly, for all this stuff, so he knows a little more than me. he's been to consumer reports like 100 times for all kinds of different products. and also, another thought, why do breast pumps cost $300? good grief! what the ..... i'm renting, forget that man. not buying one! and what size bottles should i get? and are we doing the pacifier thing? and if we are, what pacifier should we get? and what kind of thermometer is the best kind? and should we have the kid stay in our room with us when we first bring it home or should we just have it sleep in its room from the start? ohhhhhhhh my gosh .......................... hey i did mention we find out the sex in 2 weeks right? WE ARE FINDING OUT THE SEX IN 2 WEEKS!

the halfway mark appt! kinda routine actually. able to find the heartbeat easily this time with a doppler, so no need for a sonogram :( she was moving around a LOT, but since the beginning, she's always been very active. so i wouldn't expect anything less! while we were waiting for the doctor to come in, rob felt her move with his hand on my stomach. his face was of pure amazement. we've been able to use the stethoscope we have at home to try hearing the heartbeat sometimes. apparently at this stage, it can be heard with a stethoscope. but rob's not sure if he's actually heard it yet or if its just my blood flow and digestion he hears. :) hee hee! pretty cool nevertheless. man, a big huge part of me really should have gone into clinical health care of some kind. this stuff is SO cool. but i get many different reactions from people regarding my interest in the biology behind it all and even this website. hey, its the coolest thing on this earth, this baby inside me. i can't NOT get all into the details and share it with everyone! so the kicking and moving around has definitely become more pronounced. i am more sure that that's what it is. and now rob has definitely felt it. its so cool. he puts his hand on my stomach with this half smile / curious look on his face and we both feel the movement at the same time and he looks at me really quick to see if it's really what he thinks it is, and i nod :) its THE BEST.

we've been trying! then finally rob heard her heartbeat using our stethoscope (that i purchased when i was taking nursing classes). it was the coolest thing. her heartbeat is faster and more prominent, sounding like its up close, right next to the stethoscope, which i guess it is! mine is in the background, slower and not as loud. and then the best is when you're listening to it and she kicks the stethoscope!

oh my goodness... day care shopping. its hard. i calculated it would cost on average just over $10,000 / year to send her to day care. okay. swallowing that cost is aside from dealing with the fact that we're sending her to be with someone else for 9-10 hours a day. why do i HAVE TO WORK AGAIN? oh yea. cause we got a mortgage and cars and stuff. JEEZ. so i visited 3 day care centers in the area today. 3 out of of about 10. one of them is WAY expensive but i would feel really pretty okay with leaving her there. but again... way expensive like over $13,000 / year. i'm trying to arrange it at work to begin working again only 4 days a week, 10 hours a day, after i return from maternity leave. then i got one extra day with baby girl sperry. this is HARD!

"babies 'r' us" has these FREE seminars. they are SO informative. SO WORTH IT. i'd love to attend each & every one of them. we just went to the breast feeding seminar. i would like to breast feed, exclusively. its much better for the baby, nutritionally. she'll get my antibodies and lets just say -some powerful stuff- to help her grow and stay healthy. did you know that one little feeding of colostrum (the stuff that comes out first before the milk) can sustain a baby ALL DAY that first day of life? its some powerful stuff i'm telling you. this breast feeding thing is genius. we humans evolved with some cool a-- features built into our bodies, let me tell you. nature just knows and takes care of it all! so which breast pump should i use? should i buy? rent? how do i go about this? and i gotta do it every 2 hours? whoa. okay.... i'm still on board knowing the every 2 hours deal, and the apparent pain that goes along with it. i think of it just like i think of the birthing process. women have been doing this FOREVER literally. with NO pain medications, no epidurals, no breast creams. scientists have come up with some pretty neat things to ease women through the process of all these things, but the body comes equipped and ready to do things without any of it. also, the more interventions, the less natural it all becomes.

more day care shopping. rob came this time with me. we went to 4 more centers. we really need to think about which one is right for us. this is hard. i'm still gonna do the 4 ten hour days a week when i go back to work. thats 4 days at a center, 3 with mommy/daddy. why am i going back to work? i forgot again. i have my own little BABY to take care of! work schmirk. after day care tours and interviews, we went to another babies r us seminar: compare the products. GREAT SEMINAR, as was the last one. they tell you what products to invest your money in, which ones may not be worth buying, etc. the woman that does all the seminars DOES NOT work for babies r us, so she promotes to you only the products she believes are the right ones for you to buy wherever they are sold. she also tells you info about the ones she deems as not really worth purchasing. she'll let you know she doesn't recommend something but also gives you all the info still, so you can make your own decision. we went over strollers, crib mattresses, car seats, diaper genies, lots of stuff. did you know you have to either get a certified person to install your car seat base (a local policeman or someone like that would be able to) or follow the instructions exclusively that come with the car seat. its not just a "let's stick this car seat in the car and go" thing. the installation process is something that people go and get certified for. we're attending the car seat seminar too.

she's still looking really good! heart rate is 145 bpm. placental flow is 65 bpm (it has a pulse too apparently). both are normal. yay! i am to go back at 28 weeks to get the gestational diabetes test (routine) & for another appt. i wanted to see if they could do another sonogram and so i asked them if they could check again to make sure it's a girl. the dr. said that if they weren't 99% sure of the sex, they would not have told me in the first place. oh well i tried. the dr. also asked me if i've had any contractions! i said, "no!" (wow) i can tell you though that if i don't sit up really straight it feels like my chest and belly are fighting for room. so to keep things aligned i feel like i have to sit really straight, which is a good habit anyway. and then there's miss little girl who is VERY active and must be practicing her gymnastics for when she gets out. like mother like daughter?

we didn't get the registry walk-thru. the person who was going to help us had an emergency, so she went through our printed out registry briefly and wrote down suggestions before she had to leave. we may still try to do it but i'm not sure. we had scheduled it originally after talking to the woman who does the free seminars at babies r us. she also mentioned that she'd go through the store and walk through each item with us that we would need to put on our registry. we really jumped on that opportunity because we really need it! her suggestions helped though and i think i want her to maybe look over it again before i mention to the family to please consider it for christmas present ideas. we already had someone buy 3 things off of our registry when we initially started it and didn't know what we wanted yet and were really just playing around. we ended up switching our ideas around about the travel system and now we've purchased a different stroller & car seat than we originally registered for, but the other car seat's base we'd put on there was already purchased, so we put a note on the registry about it. i haven't been able to figure out who it was to tell them i'm sorry they purchased something for us that we no longer need, but THANK YOU for looking at and buying from our registry! i'm hoping that people really use that when getting us gifts because we REALLY need that stuff on there! as far as the expectant parents & car seat safety seminars, we attended both and got a lot of good information from them about safety in general around the house. we had previously gotten most of the car seat safety info before.

yesterday babies r us had a "road to motherhood" tour. among other things we got to watch a delivery video and learn a whole bunch of useful information. wow. i'm picking up a lot! i feel like i'm well on the road to getting ready for when she gets here, cause having started out completely ignorant of how to do all these things that are involved with pregnancy, having the baby, and taking care of the baby, i have had a lot to learn and still have more to learn. but with every opportunity we're taking to attend seminars, classes, go to these community events, and just meet people and talk, its really really helping! i feel like i'm now full of all these quite useful tidbits of info and the whole puzzle is really coming together. and with the registry, i now know what kinds of things i need to register for and buy and what not to buy and what kinds of brands are better than others. after the motherhood tour, we went shopping at a few different stores (i love RIGHT START) and guess what, we bought our FIRST baby toys! i made a joke in the store and said maybe we should get two of each toy cause rob was like a little kid playing with everything. but THEN when we got home, he was trying to watch tv, and here i was opening all the toys up and playing with them and making LOTS of noise. they are so interactive and so ingeniously made for development, stimulation, growth.... i love our new toys. i mean -- HER new toys. we also registered for a bunch too. along with MANY other things we're gonna need. along with toys, we picked up some books, cute little baby books that teach about how to treat animals. they have little furry things in them so she can touch and feel what each animal will feel like. this one book teaches to be gentle with pets :) we picked up a "baby book" (journal) to put pictures and memories in for her to keep. we picked up some other items we wanted that were not available at babies r us so we couldn't register for them. and we picked up some cute little kitty clothes that were only available right now but would probably soon be out of stock. it was a great day!

went for the glucose test today and some bloodwork. getting the results back next tuesday when i go for my 8th appt! these tests were standard, usually done at about 28 weeks.

today we took my parents to watch an ultrasound with us... only this ultrasound was 3/4D. very cool. seriously this kind of experience blows me away. that's why i couldn't not share it with my parents. rob's parents got to participate in a live video-cast while we were doing it where they could watch the whole thing with us and talk to us at the same time. it was about 35 minutes of our little girl moving around, different angles of her, different views, and they confirmed its a girl. it was GREAT... and they LOVED it. i could just hear it in their voices. and then we took a DVD and about 19 sonogram pictures home with us! WOW. nothing else like it in this world. of course i took some of those sono pictures and put them up on the site... :)

i only gained 2 lbs since the last time i went! wow! good. im glad the weight gain slowed down a little. except that i know she will be putting on a lot of weight between now and february. so i am amazed that those 2 lbs essentially went to her and not to me but i know theres still a lot more to be gained! they measured my uterus with a tape measure across my belly. apparently the centimeters in length of your uterus is supposed to match up with the weeks you are pregnant. so like clockwork, the uterus was 28 cm's at 28 weeks! cool! the baby's heart rate is in the 140's - good. she is about 3 lbs and 17 inches long. WOW. she could be born now and have a chance to survive. but i need her to stay in there till its time. just knowing though, that she could even come now, amazes me. the results from last friday's tests came back. i do not have gestational diabetes: the glucose test was normal. and all the bloodwork looks great, except - i am anemic. so i dont have enough red blood cells and i need to take iron supplements to build them up again. (and i took this test AFTER a big TURKEY DINNER!) i am to come back every 2 weeks now instead of every month, so my next appt is on the 12th of dec. and then towards the end i go every week and get MORE sonograms! i think i have had about 9 sonograms already. i LOVE SONOGRAMS! rob is busy painting the room. he's painted the ceiling already. its sky blue. the walls are gonna be purple on the bottom, a baby animal border, then light green on the top - hopefully this weekend! (i am not allowed to help paint b/c of the fumes.)

baby's HR is in the 130's, 140's: good. routine appt. i gained a little more weight this time since just 2 weeks ago. uterus measured 30 cm's, right along with 30 weeks. still taking iron pills for anemia. been VERY tired, as in first trimester tired. its so hard just to get up, drive to work, stay there for 8.5 hrs, then drive home. i have been getting in bed as soon as i get home, sometimes forgetting to eat dinner. hunger or sleep? which do i want more? usually sleep. they gave me a lab slip to get bloodwork drawn if im still really tired in another 10 days. im to come back every two weeks still for appts, until after my jan 10th appt, then i'm there every week till she comes! meanwhile, rob has been working so hard to get the baby's room ready. it looks SO CUTE. ADORABLE. we've got lavendar on the bottom part of the walls, a soft light green on the top, a little animal border in the middle right at the height of her crib and her changing table so she can see the animals while she's laying down. then the ceiling is sky blue and rob painted soft little clouds on it in white. one is a happy face and one is a heart and there's other clouds around it. my mom walked into the room while she was here and said it was like entering another world, and we hadn't even put much furniture or decor up yet! :)

oh WOW. so rob & i get to bayview for the lamaze class. no one is there, no one knows what we are talking about. we came equipped with our letter of confirmation for the class and a copy of the cashed check i sent in to pay for the class. no one can give us any answers. i have had problems with bayview before then, cause they just can't get organized and it shouldn't be this hard to try to schedule classes with them and have them get back to you. so this just magnifies that. i was SO MAD. i was REALLY REALLY TICKED OFF shall we say. we blocked off the whole weekend, literally rearranging some holiday plans for this and i was MUCHO excited about the class. we get up early all ready and prepared for a weekend of heee heeee hoooo hooooo haaaaa haaaaaaa or whatever they do, and then no one is there and no one has answers for us. i really wanted to learn lamaze and im at 31 weeks people, not that much time left till the end of this pregnancy! so i'm thinking "they better reschedule in a hurry or give us our money back STAT so i can try to find and register for some other class elsewhere!" SO MAD..............................
so then we are on our way back home and im in such a bad mood. rob said we should go out and make the day fun and not let bayview's shananagans ruin our weekend. so he looked some stuff up on the internet while i moped on the couch, made me get my shoes back on, well actually he has to tie them for me, and then we left, although i didn't know where we were going. he drove to the outlet mall on the other side of the bay bridge and we had a ball shopping at the CARTER'S OUTLET STORE! and baby gap, and old navy, and i don't know what else, but i got some CUTE marked down baby things! then we ate a late lunch and drove home. i had perked up by then needless to say. we get home and rob beeps the horn by accident while he was getting out of the car. he blamed it on his butt getting in the way as he got out... i just thought "what a moron" or something of the sort. then we get in the house and the alarm is off which is odd because he never leaves it off unless my parents are visiting because my dad sets it off every morning when he wakes up and gets the paper outside. so that was odd, but i just thought rob really just forgot to set it. odd, but... eh... then it smelled like food bigtime when i got inside. rob said he didnt smell it. now i know my senses are heightened but c'mon it really really smelled like some good cooking in the house and i know we didn't cook anything that day and so i thought maybe we left food out and forgot to put it away??? he shuffled me up the stairs and i see my friend christie standing at the top with her camera! ummmm..... what is..... who did........ how did....... what....... ????? apparently i fell back down the stairs a little and thats why the plan was for rob to stay behind me when we walked up, just in case. i sort of gradually peeked around the corner at the top of the stairs and saw a whole bunch of my friends smiling at me and the whole place was transformed from our living room into some sort of baby shower craziness! there were balloons, decor, a little miniature CHRISTMAS TREE with baby toys and clothes hanging as the ornaments! there was a whole array of food, refreshments, including punch! and a cake welcoming baby sperry on it! there was a diaper cake with the colors green and purple all around it, like the colors we painted the room! there were personalized party favors! the place was cleaned and the furniture all arranged so everyone could gather around while i opened the presents which were all under the little tree!!!!! i began to think back to all kinds of clues that i missed. rob wanted to leave our christmas tree lights on while we went shopping. what about conserving energy and preventing fires?- don't we always turn the lights off when we leave to be safe? we left 'em on anyway, thanks to rob's urging! we left the blinds closed while we were out. odd, cause we always leave them open everyday from morning till night for the cats, and he wanted them closed on such a nice sunny day? and what was this: "oh i must have bumped the horn with my butt on the way out of the car" ?? boy everything just went right over my head. i've never ever been "gotten" this good. let me tell you. i hugged everyone and opened presents like it was christmas! which was only a week away from that point anyway. it was fabulous. it was so touching and so thought out, with so many details that fell together to make it all happen. a lot of my friends don't necessarily know one another, so it required rob compiling together email addresses to send to beth, who got in touch with everyone & coordinated the WHOLE thing. together beth, nellie, trish, & christie did the planning, the shopping, the organizing, the cooking, and put all of their creativeness & thoughtfulness into it. rob had to do some major improvising the day of the party as you read about above! i had a fantastic time, i wouldn't have changed a thing, except maybe if i could i would have had the place a little cleaner so beth wouldn't have had to clean it herself before setting up! man i love my friends. its been a little rough lately for me, which is why i haven't been keeping this website as up-to-date as i'd like to. i've been down and sort of withdrawn, spending a lot of time sleeping and just managing to get through the day. this was frankly one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me in my life. baby showers, i know, are customary in our culture, but when its done for you with such love and detail, it means a whole lot to the person, especially someone like me, who feels everything so deeply. i don't quite know how to thank them.

well i went in there today, peed in the cup as usual, and they came right out to get me and said "what did you eat for breakfast?" i told them "special k cereal with strawberries, why?" "well your sugar is kind of high!" great. what did i do. what should i not have eaten? then they took my vital signs and my blood pressure was also "kind of high". great. off to a great start. but that might explain the way i've been feeling. they also told me that i might have a thyroid problem. so i was sent off to get bloodwork done after the appt and i get to find out in a couple days what the heck is wrong with me. meanwhile, they said the baby looks unaffected. GOOD! her heart rate is in the 130's where it should be. mine is racing. glad her's is fine. uterus is of normal size: 32 cm's at 32 weeks. the doctor asked me if i felt her moving still. i told her that she's not moving as much but is still quite active. she asked if she moved at least once a day. i said "once a day!?" how about 20 times a day! and that's after she slowed down a little from not having as much room anymore! so no need to worry there i told the doctor! she said if i ever have a day where she doesn't move, to come in to get checked. i was like "i dont think that will ever be an issue, but i will keep that in mind!" she's looking really good still. i'm really curious as to what her height and weight actually are right now. but according to the books, she should be a little over 4 lbs, and at least 19 inches long. next time i go, i'm going to ask if they could measure her so we know her exact stats. as for me, im not feeling very well these days to be frank. and actually, im going to complain now. you ready? look away if you don't want to hear it. im exhausted. i ache everywhere. i have acid reflux. swollen ankles. my socks hurt. my shoes hurt. my back hurts. i get nauseous a lot. i sleep a lot. i'm very very moody. i can't concentrate. im so slow at everything. im not in high spirits these days, despite christmas. im lethargic. im leaking milk. everything smells bad. im unmotivated to do anything in life except make the baby's room perfect. i get hot flashes and feel faint sometimes. i sweat. i was flushed all day today people told me. i can't lay on my back because her weight crushes my main artery and blood can't get to my heart and i get nauseous from it. i lay on my sides instead. to move from side to side, i have to sit up somehow which kills my back muscles, then shift and lie back down. here are some bits of good news: i only gained a quarter of a pound since last visit! she's no longer using my lower right rib as a set of monkey bars! only 32 more work days till maternity leave! my friends are the best in the world! i can tell that rob is gonna be such a good daddy! i haven't gotten a migraine since august! and i bought a dress today for a wedding i am going to tomorrow and it cost me a whooping $7! good thing, or else i'd have nothing to wear! BECAUSE NOTHING FITS ME!

hmmmmm. they rescheduled it and actually said they'd refund our money for it and the breast feeding class but keep us on the roster. good PR on their part, i was beginning to lose faith. it was a great class. it shouldn't have been called lamaze class. it should be called birthing class. we learned all about different birthing methods, with an epidural, with a spinal, with general anesthesia, with no pain meds, and c-sections. i hope to god i don't have one of those, for so many reasons. do you know that some people schedule them on purpose, without medically needing it? we paid attention just in case it goes that route. but i don't think it will. i have a feeling it'll be a normal natural birth, and that's what i'm going to go into it believing. it's so close now. this class really made me start thinking about it. i think that now that we've turned the corner into '07 (the year of baby sperry, as we call it), and we are more able to visual the weeks ahead, we're finding out that she is so close to being here, and the classes we are taking just confirm that in our minds. i literally can't even go a few minutes without visualizing her birth, thinking of what she'll look like, imagining, dreaming about it and her. so.. we did do some breathing exercises in the class. not what i thought lamaze kind of breathing would be. but we learned a great deal- a lot about positions you can get in during labor, things your "birthing partner" can do, ways to breathe, slow and fast. it was so informative. there was also a "dad section" where they talked about dad's role in everything. we got a tour of the labor and delivery unit at the end of the class. it was really exciting to be up there and be in a room that could be mine when i deliver, and to know that it isn't very long at all until i'm actually there!

another great class. bayview's gaining back points. we learned a lot about breast feeding that we didn't know and i had already filled my brain with lots of information about it. but there was still more to learn. i'm glad i took these 2 classes. everyone should do this. if not to help yourselves out, just for the interest factor. this is such cool stuff. i mean... your body actually does all these really amazing things, you just would not believe! we learned about the ways to hold a baby during feedings, what the wrong kind of latch on looks like and what the right kind looks like. it was really a great class. and i told the lactation consultants there that i will be needing them come time for delivery, cause i'll be breast feeding soon as she's out!

i went to this appointment with the hopes of finding out more about her progress. i read the books which tell me that she's about 5 lbs now and roughly 19 inches. but i don't know what MY baby's personal measurements are. i want to know if she's on track to still be delivered around feb 18th, how big she is, how much she weighs, how long she is. i just want a status on her. its been so long since i had a sonogram. they said everything is normal and therefore a sonogram is not needed. they did say however, that next time i come in they will do an exam and tell me more info, like whether she has dropped or not. being at 34 weeks, i measured a textbook 34 cm's from the top to bottom of my uterus. her heart beat was strong and sounded very good. she continues to be extremely active, has only calmed down a little cause she's running out of room. i continue to have no energy, except for today for some reason. i feel like i have so much more stamina today. my whole pelvic area has been hurting a whole lot. so so so much pressure. too much. i walk so damn slow. my friends tease me about catching up to them later. i feel old actually. like i'm an old woman in my 80's or something. my back hurts 24/7. it is such a chore to go anywhere. it means i have to put clothes on, which hurt and don't fit, then shoes, which hurt and dont fit, then get in my car which inevitably will mean i will need to squeeze by the steering wheel, getting in and getting out. then i have to sit without my feet propped up which means i will get more of a backache, then i have to squeeze out, and WALK, which HURTS. the pelvic area is the enemy of walking. then do whatever it is i have to do, function, think, be productive, and then reverse it all and go home. once home, i strip and get rob's clothes back on and head for the bed with all my beloved pillows and cats. jeez i'm a whiner. but christ. i can't imagine if i DID have the twins. what would THAT be like, if its like this now? i'm worn out. the house is a mess. we still have things to do to get ready for her. i know i know. they don't matter. but they do to me right now. i'm just glad i have this burst of out-of-the-blue energy today so that i can update this page on the website. meanwhile, i'm sick from a cold that rob gave me. thanks rob. i told him that i won't ever yell at him for getting me pregnant and getting me "in this mess" as some women like to yell at their husbands on the delivery room table. afterall i wanted this so badly to begin with. but i will yell at him if i still have this cold and can't breathe! if i'm gonna do this no-pain-medication-labor-and-delivery deal, i'm gonna need my lungs! i've been such a happy camper this week, what with my sore throat, nose blowing, coughing, ear popping, raspy voice, not breathing out of my nose, backaches, pelvic area issues, swelled ankles, no energy, hot flashes, slow walking, can't see my feet, growing out of my maternity clothes, fatigued, preoccupied self. i'm wearing sweatpants to work tomorrow. its friday and i'm pregnant dammit!

i'm dilated 2cms & slightly effaced! wow, cool! her heartbeat was in the 140's: good. uterus measured 36cms: good. shes roughly about 5 lbs right now, little small for her "age", but that is a good thing, cause she'll probably be about 6 lbs when shes born which is great, and good news for me and expected news for us, since we already anticipated she'd be about 6 lbs when she's born, since both rob and i were in the 6's. i discovered that a lot of what i have been feeling are actually braxton hicks contractions, and here i thought little girl was just being her busy self. turns out the uterus is actually whats making all that rucus and not her! the contractions don't hurt, they are just wild! so how long could i walk around at 2 cm? who knows how long i've already been walking around at 2 cm? i've heard many predictions from many people on it. i'll tell you this: i'm ready. bring it on! i think they are thinking she might be early, slightly. a little before the due date. fine with me since i've honestly about had it! :) (had it, but in a good way i mean that) ive gotten some very annoyingly swollen ankles, and some very annoying pressure. everything must be purple is the way it feels. and constant back aches. GOD. and you should see me walk. its more of a waddle. i really dont know how to walk any other way. so for now the waddle is staying cause it gets me from point a to point b, slow but fine. our seminar that night was really good. it was someone new giving the seminar. we learned a lot and actually got her contact information so we could keep in touch. she was a lot of fun the whole time, cracking me up, and so knowledgeable. these free seminars are so great. i'm so glad i learned about them. i've decided i'm going to have a doula with me for the delivery. a doula is someone who gives coaching and support to the mother and father during labor and delivery. she coaches the father on how to help the mother and she coaches the mother on breathing and positioning techniques. she also advocates for the mother, making sure her wishes are following by the hospital staff. i would like a non-medicated labor and delivery, with the least amount of interventions possible (a c-section is the furthest from my thoughts on how this should go), and immediate contact with my little daughter once she's born so she can breastfeed right away. i'll have my doula, rob, my friend tricia, and possibly my friend kelly, there with me. my mom is going to drive down from ohio once we tell her that i've begun labor and she'll stay with us for about a week.

wow! i keep getting surprised these days! my manager sent me 2 meeting invitations for that day back to back during lunchtime! one was to go over how to transition my projects and the next was a "security meeting". so we're walking from one meeting to the next (apparently the first meeting was just to distract me while everyone set up and went over to the other meeting room) and there's all these people in the room (i saw through the window on the door) that weren't scheduled to be at our meeting! i thought it was a little funny that they were there too, when it was just supposed to be a few of us. then i spotted the decorations. i knew then. my boss couldn't get the door open and finally when it opened, everyone pointed to the corner of the room, and there was rob! he came! they let him in! so we were the guests of honor for the occasion, sitting at the head of the huge table and there was so much good food and gifts. it was awesome. it was so well put together and so thought out. i know it takes a lot of work but they pulled it off very well. my friend nicole was mainly behind it all. my team leader at work, sarah, was also behind everything, and several other friends helped with setting up, coordinating, etc..... they're good, really good. it was a big surprise!!!!!!!!

still dilated 2cms. uterus is 37cms. baby's hr was in the 150's, but she had just finished moving around before they listened. its still within normal range. i actually lost one pound since last week. ?!?! but no real changes since last time. i've got 2 more appt's set up. i keep hoping for more dilation. i have those BH contractions all day long everyday. they are strong, but like i said, they don't hurt. they are just constant, all the time, and pretty powerful. its amazing to just watch them. i'm so ready for her to come. i have to be patient. i dream of meeting her and looking at her little face, all the time! rob is anxious too. i can tell. we both want her to just get here. i have a week and a half left of work and then i'm on leave. i wonder if she'll come before i leave work? i'll be at 39 weeks when i go on leave. who knows!?

had a little somethin' going on that included pain ... ? but not in any organized fashion like true labor is supposed to be. and not in the normal spot they told me it would start. it was more under my right rib, a favorite place of discomfort during this pregnancy. and it was irregular and sporatic. so it was either false labor or the braxton hicks getting stronger. either way, it proved interesting. i was getting my hair cut when it started. when i got home, rob looked my symptoms up on the internet. i got excited about it all actually, cause it meant i am closer. one more thing to be closer to my little girl! other interesting things have been happening. i was craving chocolate one night. and then rob broke out some apples and peanut butter and i went right from being obsessed with chocolate to being obsessed with peanut butter. i took globs of it and licked it off my fingers and the knife. !!!??? pretty much every day i wake up and think "i am still pregnant and i have to go to work. UGH". and its getting old. but thank goodness i have only one more week of work after this week is over. and then i can be home and relaxing and i hope she comes out around then (or sooner!!) cause im literally aching to see her. i just sit there and ache for her. i do! i just feel like im craving holding her little self in my arms. why doesn't she just come already! i'm at 38 weeks! i'm done! she's done! this is full term, baby! i keep telling her how pretty her room is and wouldn't she like to see it!? but she is enjoying her womb. she's preparing for her grand entrance, and just when mommy and daddy think they are gonna burst with anticipation..... she'll make her appearance.

3cm dilated! 30% effaced! the baby is about 6.5 lbs now they estimate, a very good healthy size. this past sunday morning when i woke up i felt different as though she had dropped more overnight. they confirmed it today: "yes, she's WAY down there", in position to be born, definitely lower than last time. today they "stripped the membranes" which means they separated the amniotic sac from the wall of the uterus, to help bring on contractions and get my waters to break. wow! it hurt. and i still have to go to work all the rest of this week? they said i could bleed now for the rest of the day because of it. yay. but if it helps her come out, then bring it on! i still don't feel pain, like real, for sure PAIN. i just feel very uncomfortable and very strong contractions which i believe are still braxton hicks? the dr told me that if the braxton hicks contractions become regular that they still would count as real contractions and to make sure to time them (has to be every 5 min for an hour before i should leave for the hospital). there is this one spot where my lower right ribs, my liver, and my uterus meet that just gets so cramped up whenever a contraction comes on. its such a big pain my side, literally! i do much better though if i dont have to be at work and i can just rest at home. after today, 3 more days. maybe i won't make it that far?! please?

oh my gosh. i can't even believe i made it to this appt. i mean: seriously? she isn't HERE yet? good grief. even my doctor was like "oh! i see you are still pregnant!?" yup, i said. thats what i said to myself this morning as a matter of fact. so at the appt, she stripped the membranes AGAIN. it hurt AGAIN. but she said there wasn't much to strip because she did it last week, so it was more like just moving things around a lot. and now i really am bleeding lots more than last week when she did it. but like i said to rob today: "no pain, no gain, so bring it on." i am really glad to be off work now. last week was my last week working until JUNE! today though, is a day when i feel very glad not to have to be at work. for one thing, its snowing out there and is just going to keep snowing all day. which is probably when little miss will decide to finally pop her head out <----- HA HA HA HA HA! so here are the appt details: baby's heart rate is in the 150's, has been for weeks, very normal. i'm 50% effaced, and i quote "a good 3cms dilated". last time was "nearly 3cms". this time its "a good 3". i asked at how many cms do they consider having me go to the hospital. they said 4. i asked if they would then try to give me pitocin (which i DO NOT want) once i got there, to jump start active labor and she said that would be something we'd talk about only after the due date has passed, but of course its my choice even then unless we get to the 42nd week (2 weeks overdue) and she's still not here. then they'd really have to give me pitocin because the baby would be at risk for several different complications, but it could just be a slight amount, doesn't have to be a full dosage. even though i am at 3cms, i have no labor pains yet. she asked about braxton hicks. oh yes, there are many vigorous crazy braxton hicks contractions that just don't stop. she explained that actually, those are REAL contractions i'm feeling because if they weren't then i wouldn't be making the progress i am making in terms of dilating and effacing. so the contractions are real? but there is no pain with them i kept telling her. they are really uncomfortable and really kind of distracting and even annoying at times, and extremely powerful (they contort my abdomen into all sorts of shapes and sizes, all day long) but i wouldnt characterize them as "painful". sometimes they even disturb my cats who are trying to sleep on me (no, i don't let them sleep DIRECTLY on my stomach) or even just next to me. even so, she said they are real ones. (this has been going on for DAYS though. in fact, i would say WEEKS. i've had these strong uncomfortable yet not painful contractions for weeks!) she also explained that what might be painful to some people is not painful to others. well thats good for me considering im going for a non-medicated labor and delivery! she said i have a good head start, that i'm well along, because sometimes it takes forever for women to get to 3cms, after lots of hard, very long, intensely painful labor. but i have also been learning while i read about this stuff, that throughout labor, the more you relax, the quicker progress you will make and the less pain you'll feel, because your body is not tense and fighting itself. little did i know that while i've been reading these books, these braxton hicks contractions i feel are actually real and i'm actually relaxing right through them, paying them no attention, as i'm reading and sitting there wondering when the heck this big process will finally start. yay! its so reassuring to know it has started! i am finding myself wondering what date she'll pick to come out. today its snowing like crazy. tomorrow is valentine's day. will she be a v-day baby? the next day (thursday) is the day my favorite doctor is on-call for deliveries at the hospital. that would be truly wonderful if she could be the one to deliver my baby. i really feel comfortable with her and have seen her the most during appts. my friend christie and my sister both predict friday. then saturday are 2 of my friends birthday's (jessica & katie) and they both have been lobbying all along for that to be the day. then sunday is the actual due date and only 5% of babies are actually born on their due date, so that would be a bit of a rarity. it is also rob's boss's birthday on sunday, so he's been teasing me that his career depends on when i give birth! so what day do you want little girl? pick one! and stick to it! so that mommy and daddy can finally see your little adorable face and tell you how cute you are and how much we already love you, and mommy can get her pre-baby body back. jeez, i have never weighed this much!

we had a consult with a potential pediatrician and really liked her. so we're gonna go with her. and hopefully we'll be seeing her again in just a few days if little stinker will come out! her office is right next to my obgyn dr's office, so we wandered over there afterwards to see if we could get someone to check how much further dilated i might be?? since the appt tuesday, i've been doing some serious walking the malls around here. i'm sick of all the stores in the malls and don't even wanna buy anything in them (except cute baby clothes & stuffed animals), and have memorized the layout in about 3 different malls. i tried walking outside but its freakin' COLD and icy. in addition to walking to bring on labor, i've had some serious contractions, ones that seemed way more consistent than this braxton hicks garbage i've been having for like months. they were consistent in terms of timing and in terms of placement and feeling. instead of contorting my stomach in all sorts of directions and being way up high and all around, and with haphazard timing, these new ones were actually all down low, felt like menstrual cramps and came between 3-5 min apart for about an hour. so i got ALL EXCITED! and woke up rob, and then he brought me some water and a bowl of cereal, and then i walked around, pacing around my living room & kitchen. and the contractions all completely disappeared. they tell you to do a test when you have contractions by drinking water and moving around during them, and if they stay the same, its really seriously true labor, time to get to the hospital. if they change or go away, its false labor. boy i was sad. i almost went back to bed crying. but i didn't. i just lay awake FOREVER imagining what it would have been like if we could be on our way to the hospital then and calling all these people and starting the pushing and popping her out and seeing her for the first time. this was all around 1:30am on thursday morning, the day my favorite dr was on-call at the hospital. when they did the dilation check, they said it was 3-4cms & still 50% effaced. i'm pretty much halfway there. COME ON! JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ! here's the positive in this: i will have less "active & transitional" labor (the latter labor stages) and probably not as painful as it could be. cause you just need to be "in labor" till you get to 10cm and 100% effacement. then you push. so let's get the job done!? let's go! what are we waiting for little girl!? you're killin' mommy with anticipation! you've even got daddy reading up about acupressure and pushing all over mommy's bones & muscles in her feet and hands!

oh well. guess we're going into overtime here. i wonder how much longer? technically, when the doctors told me her due date, they told me that it could be the 19th too depending on what chart they looked at. so either the 18th or 19th is her due date. i walked some more today. but i think i'm going to quit walking so much and just wait for nature to run its course. nothing i do seems to have too much of an impact. she'll come when she comes i guess.....

SHE'S HERE ! WOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
here's how she decided to make her grand entrance:

HER BIRTH STORY

HANGING OUT AT HOME
3pm, monday afternoon. laying in bed i hear this POP! it was loud and clear and distinctive. i was half asleep. it woke me RIGHT UP! first thing i thought was: did my water just break? i slowly moved myself upright and stood up. no water anywhere. the phone rang. it was my friend trish. we started talking. i told her about the pop and about five minutes after we started talking, i had a contraction. i'd had this contraction before. i told trish about it but said i wasn't going to get excited. i'd done so much walking and had so many contractions in the past 3 weeks or more, i'd been there, done that. this one contraction wasn't going to grab me and make me believe she's finallly coming. another one came, same intensity. another one after that came, little stronger. i let them go about a half hour. they weren't horribly painful, but they were definitely strong and attention grabbing. trish was very excited. she was going to attend the birth with me. she asked if it was time to go to the hospital. i really wasn't keen on getting too excited again about it just to have my hopes crushed, again. i'd had too many false alarms. i did tell trish though that i should get off the phone with her to call rob just to let him know. he said i should test the contractions out like the doctors told us by drinking a bunch of water and if they go away, they're another false alarm, if they stay they are the real deal. he said to call him back in 15 more minutes after i drank the water. apparently he told a few of the women he works with and they practically shoved him out the door to get home to me. i drank 2 huge glasses of water and they persisted. i forgot to call rob or trish back. i was too busy dealing with the intensity of the contractions which were stronger now and about 2 minutes apart lasting about a minute and a half, giving me about 30 seconds to catch my breath before the next one came. rob called me and told me he was already on the road. i remember saying "thank god!". first pregnancies usually mean long labors and doctors usually advise first time moms-to-be to wait an hour or two while having contractions 5 minutes apart before going to the hospital. in fact, many times upon arrival, doctors will send the patients home to labor because they're usually in the "early phase" of labor at that point and it'll be many hours until they actually deliver.

GOING TO THE HOSPITAL
rob gets home and we are going out the door. its about 4:45-5pm. i burst into tears right before we were leaving. the reality hit me that we were going, this was it, and i was in so much pain by this point i started thinking that doing this whole thing without pain medication like i wanted was going to be damn near impossible. every bump in the road on the way there was like a stab in the groin. when we parked, there was this sheet of ice between our car and the door to the hospital. it was freezing out. and i was drenched in sweat. so the cold was welcome. but the ice wasn't. i do not know HOW in H-LL we got across that sheet of ice with me having contractions like i was. rob had ahold of me and we had decided to leave everything in the car. our bags, the birthing ball, everything. it was enough for rob just to hold me as we skated over to the door. there was one security guard inside. no one else, no check-in desk, nothing. rob just said "labor and delivery!" and the guard grabbed a wheelchair and pointed us in the direction. i wasn't so sure about sitting down in the chair. i thought maybe i should walk instead so i didn't get in the chair at first. sitting hurt. but walking hurt too. i sat. but everytime a contraction came on, we had to stop moving so i could lean up out of the chair and sort of half stand, half sit. that was the only way i could get through the contraction was to have no pressure underneath me and not be standing up either. we pretty much got lost on the way to L&D but we got there and rob checked me in at the desk. they kept asking me questions to which i could only stare at them unless i wasn't having a contraction during the time they asked me. rob answered all the questions for me. again- they're used to people coming in not quite so far along as me. i'd already been 4cms dilated and 50% effaced for weeks prior.

AT THE HOSPITAL
they had me go into a room and change into a gown. the nurse checked to see how dilated i was. 6cms. its about 6:20pm at this point. they put an external fetal monitor around me to check the baby's heart rate. they did not tell me at this point that her HR was in the 90's, down from the normal 150's. rob and the nurses didn't let on so they wouldn't worry me. the baby wasn't handling the contractions well and her HR kept slowing down with every contraction. contractions squeeze the baby each time they happen and some babies don't handle it well. they wheeled me from that room to the delivery room and inserted an internal fetal monitor into me to get a better reading. i didn't know they did this even though apparently i agreed to it. this type of monitor has to get inserted into the baby's head! :( they had to break my water and with it they discovered meconium. this is evidence that the baby had her first bowel movement in the womb, usually because of being under stress. when this happens, the danger is that she could ingest it while still inside. meconium is toxic. babies who ingest it get seriously ill. because of this, they needed to get her out very soon. someone started talking to me about getting a c-section because of both the baby's heart rate and the meconium. i had a doula there (a doula is someone who advocates for the mothers wishes and assists the mother and her family through labor) who was right by my side the whole time, talking me through each contraction. she was a great help. she knew i did not want a c-section. but the doctors kept persisting. at some point they wanted me to sign a bunch of papers. they kept checking me for dilation throughout. i went from 6 to 7 in about 10 minutes, then 7 to 8 in about 10 minutes. the rapid increase in intensity of the contractions was overwhelming and was not allowing my body to adjust in time for the next one. i still hadn't signed those papers giving the dr's permission to do this and that. it ended up that rob held my hand which had the pen in it and together we made an 'S' on each paper: good enough for them. then someone had rob sign a few more papers for me later. my friend trish was supposed to have come but i wasn't sure if she'd made it there. i kept asking for her. i had my eyes closed most of the time trying to block everything out. i opened them and there were 15 or so people in the room. and rob was dressed up in scrubs with a mask and surgical hat on and everything. i knew that they only did that for c-sections- had the husband gown up. they kept checking my dilation. i was at 9 and 10 in no time- about 10 minutes. no one would answer my question about where trish was. i just knew she had to be there somewhere. finally rob made someone go out and look for her. she had been told to stay in the waiting room "because of complications". they let her in finally and i think i managed to smile when i saw her..? she had tears in her eyes. i remember she stood off to my left by my feet. there were still a whole bunch of people in the room. by this time i was aware that the baby's heart rate was dipping dangerously low, which was the reason for their insistence on a c-section. i dont know how i learned about this, but i'm pretty sure someone told me that if i got an epidural, it would relax the baby so that she would be able to better handle the contractions and that if i didn't get an epidural, that most likely they'd do a c-section on me. i was in so much freakin' pain by this point that knowing this convinced me. i told them to get me an epidural then. whatever, just get this baby out! i was at 10cms at this point, 100% effaced, and i felt her head pushing its way out. i'd already been through all the contractions! all i needed to do was push! i screamed. it felt like my body would explode or break in half. i remember screaming a couple times. and then someone told me they had to draw my blood. i don't remember them drawing it. and i didn't realize that the blood had to be drawn in order to administer the epidural. all i knew was that i needed that epidural now! i focused on the anesthesiologist. i kept yelling for him to get here so that he could give it to me. he just wouldn't show up! apparently though, he was already in the room but couldn't do anything until my blood results came back. then someone came in and told me they needed to draw my blood again because the first vials had clotted. i was shaking like i was having a seizure. i had no control over my body. i shook so badly. rob or someone had to sit on my arm while they drew my blood again. then i felt them roll me over and a bunch of people were again- sitting on me, and they inserted the epidural. i kept screaming that her head was coming out. i could tell they didn't completely believe me. someone said "really? let me check." then they said "she sure is! ok, PUSH!" so i pushed about 7 or 8 times. they counted for me from 1 to 10. with each push, i was to hold it till 10. i only made it to about 8 most of the time. they made me push several times in a row for 10 seconds each. i pushed a bunch of times and then had to take a breather. then everyone got all panicked, including rob. i looked at him and and saw his face and then looked around at everyone else. they all looked so panicked. one of the doctors at the foot of the bed said to me: "if you don't get this baby out in this next push we are going to do a c-section." whatever the emergency i did not know, but the doctors words and the look on rob's face convinced me to quick muster up another push fast. and she came out! apparently her heart rate had gone into the 50's before that last push.

SHE'S HERE!
she arrived at 6:59pm. i'd wanted to hold her right away, have them put her on me, and then begin to breastfeed. but they whisked her away and gave her to the three pediatricians standing by. rob ended up cutting the cord in there somewhere. they suctioned her nose and mouth thoroughly before she could take her first breath to make sure she did not ingest any meconium. they checked her over thoroughly. she got an apgar score of 8 at one minute, 9 at five minutes. the decrease in heart rate throughout the contractions did not have any long term effects on her, nor did she ingest any of the meconium. she weighed in at 6 lbs, 15.8 ozs and was 20 inches. her color was great right away. many times babies will appear white or blue right after delivery, but she had good color when she came out. she was born with brown hair and slate blue eyes, and all her little fingers and toes! we named her 'alexa jae'. my maiden name is alexander. and everyone on my dad's side of the family has a first name beginning with 'j'. we've been calling her lexi. she's our little lexi & she's beautiful.